Wine For Misfits

Les Claypool (the one from Primus in case you know another one) has a winery out in Forestville called Purple Pachyderm. So, if you’re not a fan of wine but a fan of Priums, this winery is for you. 

You could also go if you’re a fan of organic, nitrate-free hot dogs. 

IT’S NOT PURPLE PACKADERM

Thanks, Hooked on Phonics (not gonna lie, first draft I spelled phonix).

If you’ve read my prior posts, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I don’t know how to spell this winery’s name. Luckily, if you too are a terrible speller, you can just put “Primus Winery” into your search engine when looking for directions.

SMALL TOWN DRINKIN’

Purple Pachyderm is in Forestville. A small Russian River Valley town with a population of 3,862. 

Admittedly, I don’t know much about Forestville besides the fact my friend’s brother owns a coffee shop (Sunshine Coffee), and there are two witchcraft stores.

That’s one witchcraft store for every 1,931 people.

Forestville is a mildly weird town with bougie Sonoma County Wine. 

The best of both worlds.

PINOT NOIR GALORE

Purple Pachyderm (not packaderm) is all about Pinots!

With the exception of Champagne.

Yes, the real Champagne.

From Champagne.

Champagne, France.

Not Forestville.

A TASTING ENVIRONMENT FOR NEWBIES

If you think all red wine tastes the same, then Les Claypool created a winery for you! Each Pinot has a distinct style that even a novice taster will notice.

Some are lighter-bodied and spry like the pyramid-point cheerleader. Others are heavy and astute like a bowler. Nonetheless, while all the red wines are made from the same variety, they certainly aren’t in the same genres.

And this simile/metaphor is like a college freshmen who hasn’t quite grasped the concept of “theme”.

But that in itself is a good metaphor for the wines: they all have different flavors. No two are the same.

PATIO SIPPIN’

There is a large patio bordering the weiner mobile and tour bus.

Rumor has it that’s where Les Claypool lives. 

Don’t be shy to put up an umbrella if it isn’t already open. The Sonoma County overcast can (and will) abruptly disappear.

Great opportunity for Vitamin D soaking.

With that said, a little SPF application pre-visit isn’t a terrible idea.

WHAMOLA WEINERS – THE WEINER MOBILE

Hot Dogs and Pinot Noir are an underrated pairing. The salt from the dog brings out the fruity notes in the wine.

However, this weiner mobile doesn’t offer your average hot dog menu: one is topped with vinegar chips. Another with green olive tapenade. My favorite has crushed frittos.

During St. Patrick’s Day, there’s a dog with Lucky Charms’ marshmallows. 

I have two regrets in life: 

1. Marrying the wrong person in my early 20’s. 

2. Not ordering the Lucky Charm’s Hot Dog from Whamola Weiners.  

And yes, they have vegetarian options.

APPROPRIATE SAUCE TO MEAT RATIO

I’m always weary of restaurant food with sauces. Some places slather too much on a dish.

I’m still not over the eggs benny I had in 2018 from a restaurant in downtown Alameda. It was basically a plate full of Hollandaise sauce.

We all know it’s two tablespoons of Hollandaise at most. 

Purple Pachyderm has learned the art of appropriate sauce-to-meat-to-bun ratio. I’ve gone twice now, ordered two different dogs, and both were appropriately sauced. 

A true work of art and precision. 

NO NEED TO MAKE DECISIONS

Every tasting starts with a glass of Champagne.

Not sparkling wine.

Not Prosecco.

Champagne.

From France.

It’s then followed by three wines picked by the host. As someone who battles decision fatigue with a decision-making crystal (it’s a thing), I appreciate they choose the wines.

The tasting usually has a Rosé, then transitions to a lighter-bodied, jammy Pinot (one you could serve chilled, which is my fave), it then ends with a fuller-bodied, slight-spiced wine.

All are made from the Pinot Noir grape, and all with a unique palate decorations (I’m really reaching here for “flavor” synonyms).  

CIRCUS THEME

The tasting room is a circus lounge.

In 2025 marketing terms: elevated, three-ring vibe. 

An ambiance I never knew I needed. 

It’s a pet peeve of mine when tasting rooms hang vineyard photos while simultaneously having vineyard views.

PP (we’re calling the winery that now since towards the end of the blog) does it right. They have a rectangular window that frames the IRL vineyards.

No need for extra vine photos. This Leaves room for tour posters and circus memorabilia. 

We love that.

KITTY RATING SCORE

TL;DR

Between Purple Pachyderms’ circus theme, hot dog pairings, sauce ratio, and excellent Pinot Noir variety (not to be confused with grape variety), this mildy-weird winery in a mildly-weird Russian River town gets 8/10 Kitties.